


Thantophobia

by mikaminato



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: After 6B, After Wolves of War, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Declarations Of Love, Feels, Liam Dunbar Needs a Hug, M/M, Near Death Experiences, No one dies ok, Poisoning, Protective Theo Raeken, Romance, Romantic Angst, Self-Sacrificing Theo Raeken, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-17 00:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12353841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikaminato/pseuds/mikaminato
Summary: “What happened to the “I’m not dying for you”, idiot?” Liam asked, shaking.Theo opened his eyes, and a single tear rolled down his face.“I… would gladly die for you, Liam.” [Liam/Theo]





	Thantophobia

**Author's Note:**

> When I first thought about this story, the original plot had absolutely NOTHING to do with this. But I started writing and I kept writing and I couldn't stop! Maybe I'll write another fic about my original idea, but well, I hope you guys like this one. :)
> 
> Review and leave kudos if you like it! English is not my mother tongue so I apologise for any mistakes!

**_ Thantophobia _ **

_(n.) the phobia of losing someone you love_

 

 

“I still think we should have left someone behind.” The chimera said for the hundredth time since they got there, and Liam was one step from losing his already short patience.

 

They had an urgent situation in South America, more specific in the North of Brazil near the Amazon River. Monroe and hundreds of hunters invaded the area and surrounded all living packs of werewolves and supernatural creatures, taking them as hostages. Derek was still searching for more of the yellow wolfsbane he had found with that Brazilian pack, this time with Peter and Chris Argent when he smelled fear, even if he was not that close to those places. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but he knew it had to be the hunters. And a big amount of them.

 

Ever since the war was over, he had been trying his hardest not to involve Scott and his pack on his battles and this new war, even though he knew it wasn’t possible all the time. Despite all the bad things happening, the alpha was still trying his hardest to become a vet, and deep down, Derek was proud of him. But this time, he couldn’t help it. The Hale knew a lot of packs lived in the Amazonian woods and if he wanted to help them, he would need the help of Scott and his pack.

 

“You know, they will be fine.” Liam said, also for the hundredth time, getting tired of that conversation. “Parrish will be there and Alec will be there too. This people here…” The beta looked around him, staring at the trees that surrounded them. “They seem to need us more than they do right now. That’s what we do, ok? Keep people alive.”

 

Theo sighed and adverted his eyes from the younger werewolf. Damn, of course he knew that. That was exactly what he had said to Liam, a year ago during the war when he was close to do some stupid thing and kill Gabe.

 

But… this time was just different. He knew those packs needed them, and he was willing to help, but he couldn’t help but think about the people they left behind at Beacon Hills. Mason, Corey, Melissa, Nolan, Alec, Deaton.

 

It’s been three hours since they got there, and they already ran against two groups of hunters. Gladly none of the two got hurt, but it did nothing to soothe their worry. Since the only ones coming from Beacon Hills were Liam and Theo, they were by themselves, trying to find the safe house Derek said they should meet up, but they were having a hard time, especially because the forest was dense, cars didn’t fit so they had to walk, the weather was hot and phones didn’t seem to work very well.

 

_Just great._

“Don’t you remember Peter, Derek or Argent’s scent? We should rely on our sense of smell, since we can’t use any technology.” Theo said grumpily, scratching his neck as another bug stung on his neck.

 

Liam shook his head.

 

“I don’t remember. It’s been a while since I last saw them.”

 

“Just great. We are lost, we gonna spend the rest of our lives in the middle of a hot forest getting eaten by bugs. That if Monroe doesn’t find us first.”

 

Liam turned his head angrily at the chimera, shoving him.

 

“What’s your purpose, anyway? Besides being a pessimistic asshole? You didn’t have to come, ok?”

 

Theo rolled his eyes.

 

“Calm down, little beta.” He said, smirk on his lips. “I’m here, aren’t I? Besides… You wanted me to come, didn’t you?”

 

Liam stared at him with hurtful eyes. “Because I thought-”

 

“Oh my God, it’s too early for a DTR, don’t you think? You don’t have to come all over here to do this, there’s a good place to do that, and it’s called, Beacon Hills, so, how about we get out of here before something bad happens?” Peter said sarcastically, clapping his hands as Derek just rolled his eyes.

 

“How did you know we were here?”

 

“You reek of anger and anxiety, Liam. We could smell you from a mile.” Derek answered. “C’mon, everyone else is waiting, the only one missing is Stiles, but he’s probably gonna be late since he’s busy with some FBI stuff, so we are going to start without him.”

 

“He’s going to kill you.” Peter said, as matter of fact.

 

Derek shrugged. “Couldn’t care less.”

 

After they got into the house and had their greetings, after all, it’s been a while since they had seen each other, Derek said they went after more information about the hunters that were taking those packs as hostages while waiting for them to arrive. There were a total of four packs that basically lived under caves and small villages. Two packs of werewolves, one pack of werecoyotes and one was mixed between werewolves and werejaguars. He didn’t really know the reason though. The packs were being kept inside their places under security of at least forty hunters each, and by the screams they were being tortured, though he couldn’t listen for too long to find out what Monroe really wanted, not wanting to risk being caught.

 

Liam’s eyes were glowing yellow as Derek finished sharing all information he got. They all were a bit nauseated by the cruelty, but the instability on the beta’s aura caught everyone’s attention.

 

“Liam-” Scott started, but was interrupted by Theo’s voice.

 

“Calm down. You don’t want to screw things by losing control of your own mind, do you?”

 

Liam stared at the chimera, hands shaking so much and heart beating so fast it as almost painful to breath.

 

“Shut up.” He snarled and closed his eyes.

 

Scott was about to say something but closed his mouth as Theo posted a hand on his beta’s shoulder, the touch startling Liam but not seeming unwelcomed.

 

When he opened his eyes again, his irises were back to his usual blue, heartbeat calm and regular.

 

“Sorry, Scott.” The beta said, looking embarrassed. The alpha only shook his head, smiling at the younger werewolf, a knowing smile.

 

“So, what’s the plan?” Lydia spoke for the first time gathering all attention. “Not that I’m not happy to see you guys, and I have a lot to tell you, but first things, first, right?”

 

“The only plan we can come up with is… Split and fight.” Scott said, regretfully.

 

They all looked at the alpha, somewhat bothered by the way he looked so defeated. Everyone could see he was asking them to go on a suicide mission. Few of them against lots of them, and they all knew Scott would never ask something like that if there was a Plan B. But there wasn’t and if they didn’t agree with him, the alpha was going there on his own, because lives were never insignificant to Scott. And somewhat he made everyone think like that too.

 

“I… I’m not asking you to come with me, but… there’s nothing we can do about that. If we go together at one place at time, they will talk to each other and kill the other packs. We can try to find another pack and convince them to help us, but it will take us time, and we don’t have time. We all know, every minute of torture, is one minute we might lose of a life of those werewolves out there.” Scott’s hands were closed into fists and his eyes were staring the rounded table they were gathered around.

 

“Keeping people alive, right?” Theo murmured from the end of the corner.

 

The Alpha raised his eyes from the marble and stared at the chimera, somewhat impressed by Theo’s words. He nodded.

 

“Not a single life is unworthy.”

 

“Incorruptible Scott strikes once again.” Peter mocked, arms crossed over his chest, rolling his eyes. “Our priority is release the victims first. There’s a possibility not all of them are seriously hurt, so maybe some of them might be able to help us fight the hunters."

 

Chris Argent nodded. “We might as well bring the survivors here. We have the option of staying over with them, but I don’t think it’s the safest option, considering the hunters might come back.”

 

“Well I guess we have a plan, then.” Scott said.

 

“It’s sort of a plan.” Peter corrected. “It’s more like a suicide mission.”

 

Malia growled at his father.

 

“What happens if some of us get badly hurt?” Theo had to ask. “Not agreeing with Peter, but we are kind of outnumbered here."

 

Liam rolled his eyes.

 

“Don’t you guys have any optimism inside of your werewolf’s hearts?”

 

“That’s because I have a chimera’s heart, science project, all fake-”

 

“Ok, ok. I get it. You’ve proven your point.” The beta said impatiently.

 

“I… If someone gets hurt… All you must do is howl.” Scott said, voice faltering a bit. “We know we want to believe everything is going to be ok, but we need to discuss all possibilities. The places aren’t far from each other, so the closest pair to the injured one will come as soon as possible to help.” He looked at Liam briefly, before exiting the room.

 

Derek paired with Lydia and Stiles, who got there in time and almost killed them for being ready to leave without him, Peter with Chris Argent, Scott with Malia and Liam with Theo.

 

Liam knew he should try to calm down his heartbeats but he just couldn’t help it. Derek, with Stiles and Lydia and Peter with Chris went for the werewolf pack, while Malia and Scott went for the werecoyote pack. It left the pack who mixed werewolves and werejaguars with Liam and Theo. He didn’t know why the thought made him so nervous. Maybe because the only werejaguar he had known in his life was Kate and she was nothing but a psycho homicidal. It didn’t mean all of them were like that, at least he didn’t want to believe so.

 

He also expected the fact the pack was mixed didn’t mean they had a bigger number of hunters keeping them as hostages. He knew he needed to stay afraid. Fear made him stronger, Theo made him realize that. And he knew he was terrified. Not of death itself, but he was afraid of all those things that might go wrong on the mission. It wasn’t a smart mission and it had lots of holes. But once again, they were never known for their well-planned missions. Except for the one at the Zoo, the one he and Theo were bait for the hunters. He smiled at little at the memory. That time somehow Theo became his anchor, and little by little he started helping Liam to control his unstable self. He knew the beta relied on his anger to gather power, but instead of making him hide it, he helped him shape it. It made him stronger.

 

He wanted Theo to know how much it meant to him, that piece of control he gave to him, but it seemed the chimera didn’t think much about it. Since the war was over, it was rare to see him around, even if the pack could count on him whenever they needed to. Not once Theo said no to Scott’s calls and often he saved Liam’s life on pack missions. To be honest, those were the only times the beta saw him, and as much as Liam tried to tell himself he didn’t care, deep down he knew it made something inside him hurt. Because even if Liam was never going admit to anyone, not even to himself, things were better during the war. That thought was selfish and petty. And he knew he shouldn’t have them, but he thought they developed a bond when they were trying to survive. It seemed that when they were fighting the Anuk-Ite, a creature who feeds of fear, Liam stuck close to Theo because somehow, he made him feel safer. He hoped he did the same to him, but unfortunately, he thought he was wrong. He started caring about Theo and even thought about inviting him to live with him, because he knew the older teenager was alone and he had no place to stay.

 

But after that night at the hospital, Theo was gone. He didn’t hear of him for some weeks until trouble hit Beacon Hills again and Theo was there once again to save his ass, like knight in a shining armor. Liam wanted to ask him where he had been, why had not he called and why had he disappeared, but didn’t know if he had the right. But he invited him over for dinner instead. Theo smiled and declined, this time politely, caressing his hair and thanking for the kindness.

 

After that day, Liam tried calling and inviting him over a few times. Sometimes Theo would come and spend some time with him, but most of them he would say no. The few times he agreed on coming at Liam’s place, they would laugh at everything and anything at the same time and it always felt nice. It was different than being with his other friends. Sometimes, Corey, Mason, Alec and Nolan would join them. They would have movie sessions while eating snacks, and then play video games while laughing at Corey’s awful skills. Everyone would leave eventually, and Liam would invite Theo to stay over, but Theo declined every single time. It made Liam upset. He insisted a few times until he stopped insisting. He felt as if he was insisting so much that he wore the chimera down, and he didn’t want that. Liam wanted Theo to be around him because he wanted to.

 

He had the same feeling when he first broke him free from hell with Kira’s sword. Theo was always next to him because he was afraid Liam was going to send him back to hell. After he broke the blade, he was a free person, and still, he stuck around. And Liam let himself be taken by that feeling of fondness towards the chimera, even when he knew he shouldn’t. None of his pack members trusted Theo, and Liam shouldn’t either. Not after all the things he had done to him and his friends. But then, he saved him so many times, he saved Mason, he stopped him from killing innocent people… Liam couldn’t help himself.

 

The trust came, even if Scott was worried, even if Malia looked unhappy, even if Lydia still looked uncertain. _He didn’t care_ about what they thought. And in the end, they all saw Theo has changed. But he didn’t only change for the best. Something else changed inside him. Something Liam couldn’t quite understand because the chimera didn’t allow him to see. It was hidden behind locked doors Liam couldn’t open. No one seemed to have the key and no one seemed to care, and the beta didn’t even know if the older boy still had it. It seemed Theo was trying so hard to keep it locked, like he was afraid someone would see what was inside of it.  But Liam wanted to see it, wanted so bad it hurt.

 

“Still with me?” Theo whispered, shaking him out of his thoughts.

 

The beta didn’t notice they were walking for that long until he noticed the small village a few meters away from them. Liam nodded.

 

“As much as I hate to say that, you need to keep focused, I don’t want to die because you can’t concentrate.” His voice was still low, contrasting his harsh words.

 

Liam bit his lower lip, knowing he was right.

 

“Sorry, it won’t happen again.”

 

“Good.” Theo said, taking a deep breath. “Are you ready?” He asked.

 

Liam tried to calm his unsteady heartbeats and nodded.

 

“Ok. There seem to be ten of them outside. Let’s try to strike them out quietly and get inside those huts one by one. Let’s stick together, ok? Splitting would be a mistake.” Theo said slowly, making sure Liam understood his plan.

 

The werewolf nodded, begging for his hands to stop shaking. The sun was right above their heads, giving away it was past midday. There were some dark clouds starting to appear on the blue sky, denoting it was going to rain later today. Theo’s sweated forehead was glowing from both heat and anxiety as he took a deep breath and glanced at Liam.

 

“We don’t know where’s Monroe. She could be here and couldn’t, but either way, we need to be careful.”

 

The beta nodded one more time, not trusting his own voice.

 

Theo was about to wolf-out when Liam held him in place. The chimera looked at the younger teenager. Liam took his hands and caressed lightly. Theo smiled at him and caressed it back.

 

“Let’s fight.”

 

When they approached the village, the first three hunters were not hard to take down, and they successfully managed to do it quietly, but then two hunters noticed Liam and came towards him. The beta snarled and hit one of them in the head, knocking him unconscious, while the other grabbed his neck, trying to take the air out of his lungs. Theo, who was busy scratching the back of one hunter with his claws, shoved him against a tree and rushed to Liam and took the man out of the beta’s back, stepping on his stomach, making him hiss as Liam quickly put his hand on his mouth to prevent him from screaming, hitting him on his head. The remaining four hunters started shooting at them then, the gun noises filling the place, the beta running towards the two in the right and Theo to the other two in the left. Claws reached skins and roars soon filled the place. The last hunter was a bit harder to take down, it gave Liam a bit of hard time, but Theo hit his head, not having much time to do anything else as an arrow shot by a newly arrived hunter hit him on the leg, making him hiss in pain.

 

“Theo!” Liam screamed, running towards the chimera, but couldn’t reach him as another three hunters appeared from one of the huts on the left.

 

“I’m fine, just keep fighting, Liam!” Theo assured the younger werewolf, making a lot of effort to take the – poisoned arrow, of course, because life couldn’t be fair – out of his thigh, standing up to fight against three more hunters. He roared and used his claws to open bruises on the men’s skins, making them groan in pain. One of them collapsed on the ground and the other was close. Theo growled and hit him on the neck, breaking his arm and knocking him unconscious on top of the bigger one. With only man left to fight, he glanced at Liam, who was fighting with four hunters. He was getting several punches and kicks on his stomach, blood running on his mouth. Theo glanced at his own opponent, and ran at the opposite direction, just in time to hiss in pain as a stab hit him on the back, from one of Liam’s opponents.

 

He fell to his knees and bit his lips hard, taking a moment to absorb the excruciating pain that took over his body. He looked up and saw Liam’s shocked eyes just before a loud howl escaped the beta’s mouth and he completely lost control of his anger, claws ripping every piece of skin he could find. Hunters tried to shoot him, but Liam adverted the bullets and ran towards the men then, knocking one, then two and then three unconscious. Theo got up with difficulty as seven more hunters approached them, begging his legs to move.

 

Damn.

 

This plan was _definitely_ not working as he thought it would. The hunters were exiting the huts nonstop, probably attracted by the noises of the gunfire and there were too many of them against Liam and Theo. It was a miracle the beta wasn’t hurt so far.

 

Theo, on the other hand… Well, he was… Alive, for now.

 

Being alive wasn’t a thing he thought he deserved, after all the things he had done. He killed a lot of people who deserved to live so much more than he did, people who had plans, who had people to loved them, who were loved by other people.

 

And Theo… Theo had no one. Since he was young, he was convinced his only purpose in life was seek power, because he was chosen, he was special. He had his brain washed to kill his own sister just so he could have unlimited power. In the end he couldn’t host the Beast, and he was a failed experiment. He had failed the only purpose he had on his life. Even the Dread Doctors considered him a failure. No one has ever loved him, and no one has ever wanted him around.

 

He thought he didn’t care, until he was sent to hell. He kept feeling Tara taking her heart from his chest repeatedly, and even if he knew that was an awful feeling, he knew he deserved that. That was just a glimpse of the suffering he made her go through. She was just one, but he knew there were others.

 

He was somewhat relieved when he was brought back with Kira’s sword. He knew they didn’t do it for him, but somehow, he felt he could do things differently. Even if no one wanted him around, even if no one cared. He was _alive._ What’s the point of being alive if you at least didn’t try to do something remarkable? That was one of the reasons he first started following Liam’s path. He was the one who freed him, even if unwillingly. But then, some things started to change inside Theo. At first, deep down he knew he wanted to prove Scott wrong. He wanted to prove all of them wrong, and make them realize he has changed, but then, he didn’t anymore. He focused his days on helping Liam control his anger, being there when the beta needed him. Theo ended up saving his life more times he could count, and unlike he thought, it wasn’t to prove himself. He did it, because it made him happy. It wasn’t to do something remarkable, to do things people would remember, but… maybe, part of the reason he was alive was to be able to do something for someone else… For Liam. He knew it was for Liam. Even if he didn’t deserve, and despite the horrible things he has done in the past… he was alive, and there was a reason for that.

 

So, he roared and got into his feet, running towards the two hunters on his left, his claws digging into their necks and then on their arms, making them bleed and fall on the ground. The screams were loud and he quickly knocked them unconscious, taking a deep breath. Liam hissed in pain as a bullet hit him on the arm and Theo immediately tensed, doing his best to run towards him but the beta shook his head.

 

“I’m fine! It’s just a scratch!” As he quickly adverted his attention to the other hunter beside him. “Go look for the werewolves, I got this! It’s just five of them!”

 

Theo was ready to protest, because no way in hell he wanted to leave Liam to the hunters, but the confidence on the beta’s eyes was amazing.

 

“Just go, Theo! If we both stay here, we aren’t going anywhere!”

 

The chimera cursed internally and nodded, begging his legs to obey him. He ran against three other hunters inside the hut, one of them managing to hit an arrow on his arm, but at least it was only wolfsbane and chimeras didn’t react that bad to wolfsbane as wolves do.

 

Inside the hut was kind of dark but he could see there was four people tied against a tree trunk. Three men and one woman. They seemed unconscious, so Theo kneeled and touched one of the men.

 

“Hey.” He shook him on the shoulder, stepping back as the man roared and his eyes glowed red.

 

“ _Quem é você_?” The man spoke in an unknown language, eyeing suspiciously, despite his tired features. He had blood everywhere and his body had electricity marks, probably from the earlier torture. “ _O que você quer? Você está com eles_?”

 

Theo didn’t have time to answer, as the woman beside him also awakened, her eyes glowing yellow momentarily and then fading to light brown. She stared at the chimera for a moment but said nothing. The other man beside the alpha growled and glowed his eyes at the chimera, coughing a bit, staring fiercely at him even if he was still bleeding on his forehead and had torture marks too.

 

The chimera stood silent and decided he didn’t have time to explain, so he just glowed his eyes yellow, letting them know they were the same. That seemed to calm the alpha and the others, who took a deep breath and rested his head on the tree.

 

“Speak English?” Theo asked.

 

“A bit, yeah.” The man said, accent strong.

 

“We came to help. My friend is outside fighting the hunters, lots of them, the other packs had been attacked too. My pack had to split up to help the others so I think we might need your help to take them down… Are you good enough to fight?” Theo asked, trying to break the chains that kept them in place.

 

The alpha looked at the woman by his side. She nodded, even if she was still bleeding. The other man also seemed ok, despite his injuries. The alpha posted his hand on the woman’s arm, black veins going up his own skin as he took away her pain. The last one to wake up was a black man who was beside the brunette woman. His head was leaning forward but as soon as he opened his eyes, the green irises met Theo’s, blue patterns on his skin and sharp white fangs showing as he let out a pained grunt. A werejaguar.

 

“He was poisoned with yellow wolfsbane.” The alpha explained. “He would be a great help on the fight, but I guess Leonardo needs to rest.”

 

Theo nodded. “We’ll take you all with us as soon as the fight is over. We know someone who can handle yellow wolfsbane. But let’s go, we don’t have much time.” He said, as they were free from the chains.

 

The alpha and the two betas let out a roar as Liam was struggling with at least fifteen hunters now, bleeding on his arms, shoulders and legs.

 

Theo saw it coming like a slow-motion camera. The arrows and the bullets. He saw the way Liam tried to run away from them. Theo was happy he was a chimera and he was part coyote, thanks to that his speed was higher than usual werewolves, as he reached Liam. He didn’t have much time to think, as his body wrapped around the beta on his own, the arrows hitting him on the back and the bullets hitting him in so many places he wasn’t able to count.

 

He vaguely knew the other three werewolves ran towards the hunters because he heard screams and _lots_ of roars and then a little more of claws digging into skin. He felt his knees give in then, but Liam’s body grabbed him, looking at him with wide eyes.

 

“W-What did you do!?” The beta’s irises looked at him with shock, soon filled with tears.

 

“I-” Theo tried to speak but coughed a bit of blood. He smiled weakly. “Are you ok?”

 

Liam sobbed, shaking his head. “Are you crazy?! You can’t just do that!”

 

“I… Couldn’t let you die, I had to protect y-you…” Theo said weakly, feeling warm as Liam’s arms wrapped around him.

 

Liam looked at his hands, feeling more desperation as they were painted in red. There was so much blood. Oh God.

 

He sobbed a little harder, more tears running down his face.

 

“Hunters are gone!” One of the werewolves said, and Liam supposed he was one of the hostages. “What are we supposed to do now? Your friend needs treatment, now! We have a pack member who has been poisoned with yellow wolfsbane too!”

 

Liam nodded, feeling his heart tight inside his chest.

 

He howled in full lungs, hoping, _praying_ for someone to hear them, watching as the other woman tried to carry his other pack members.

 

Theo coughed a little more blood, this time along with some black ink, denoting the poison inside his body.

 

“Fuck, Theo!” He cried harder, hugging the chimera’s body against his own. “Don’t do this to me. Stay with me, _please. Please!”_

The chimera smiled and raised his hand to caress the beta’s cheek.

 

“Don’t cry, dumbass. You look ugly when you cry. I want to see you smiling, always.”

 

Liam shook his head, biting his lip so hard he tasted his own blood.

 

“I… It’s my fault! I’m weak, I can’t protect anyone… In the end, I couldn’t protect Brett, I couldn’t protect Lori… I promised myself I would never leave you, but I’m losing you too! All of this because I’m weak!”

 

Theo looked at those irises. His vision was blurry and he was so _tired_ , but he could see so much pain inside them, but at the same time, he had so many good things, so many determination, so many devotions. He knew he would do the same thing all over again if that meant keeping Liam safe.

 

“You are not weak, Liam.” Theo whispered, as his voice was starting to fade. He coughed a bit more and blood painted his hand, the black ink sliding down his chin. Liam intertwined their hands, taking some of his pain. “You… Were able to forgive me… Do you even know how much of a strong person does that makes you? But since I’m weak, I never said I was sorry…” His eyes closed for a few seconds, before he opened again, a bit unfocused. “But… I want to be strong like you, so… I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done to you… And the people you love…”

 

Liam tightened the grip of their hands and his cry got more unstable. He knew Theo didn’t need to apologize, but the look on the chimera’s eyes was so hurt, so broken it made something inside him part into million pieces.

 

“I wish we… had met in a different situation… you know…” Theo whispered, a sad smile on his face. “A situation where I didn’t have done those horrible things and-”

 

“These are past now! You’ve changed, Theo!” Liam said, tears blurring his face and wetting Theo’s. “You’ve changed, things are different, so, you can’t just abandon me now that things are different. Why did you do that?”

 

Theo smiled, his eyes closed.

 

“I… Don’t know… My body moved on its own… I think… You deserve to live more than I do…” Theo coughed more black ink, his clothes soaked by the dark liquid. “Before I only thought about myself but now… I think there are people worth dying for.”

 

“What happened to the “I’m not dying for you”, idiot?” Liam asked, shaking.

 

Theo opened his eyes, and a single tear rolled down his face.

 

“I… would gladly die for you, Liam.”

 

Before they could say anything else, Derek arrived with Lydia and Stiles and thank God, they had the Jeep.

 

“What the fuck just happened here?!” Stiles squawked, eyes wide at the bloodbath. “Theo. Still with us?” He kneeled beside the chimera, and if Theo wasn’t so hurt he would joke about Stiles newly-found affection towards him.

 

“I… don’t know…” He managed to say, before everything went black.

 

* * *

 

 

He opened his eyes and looked at his surroundings. The room was dark and silent. He was in a bed and wrapped in bandages. Honestly, he didn’t think there was a single part of his body that wasn’t bandaged. He tried to get up but it felt painful, so he let out a sigh, giving up.

 

He glanced at his bedside table and turned on the lamp, his eyes stinging. He glanced down and smiled a bit. Liam was sitting on the floor, head laying on his arms, which were resting on the mattress. He was asleep, lips slightly parted. He had bags under his eyes, hair falling slightly over his face. Theo reached over and caressed his strands affably, making him stir a bit and slowly open his eyes.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” The chimera murmured hoarsely.

 

Liam was immediately tense, looking at him with wide eyes.

 

“You are awake!” He said dumbly. “Are you ok?”

 

Theo smiled weakly. “I think I’ll live…”

 

“Are you hungry?” Liam asked, getting up and sitting in the chair next to the bed.

 

Theo shook his head. “Maybe a bit thirsty.”

 

Liam nodded as he grabbed a glass of water from the bedside table and handed it to the older

boy, who drank it in one gulp.

 

“Thanks. So… How long was I out?”

 

Liam bit his lip and adverted his eyes from the chimera.

 

“A week.” He murmured, looking at his hands, which started shaking. “You... After we left the hut, you lost consciousness. You had several convulsions due severe poisoning. The poison didn’t allow you to heal, the fever wouldn’t go down… You lost too much blood because of the bullets… I…”

 

Liam’s eyes were wet with tears and he was grabbing the sheets tightly.

 

“You needed a blood transfusion because you couldn’t trigger your healing because of the poisoning. One of the pack members was a doctor, like Deaton – well, not like Deaton, because he’s a vet, but you know what I meant - so he was able to do all preparations, thank God… I- We have the same blood type.” Liam murmured, still fidgeting with his hands.

 

Theo’s heart skipped a beat. “You… gave your blood to me?” He whispered.

 

“Of course, I did!” Liam answered as if was obvious. “Theo, I…” Liam tried to form coherent words inside his head, but thinking was never his thing.

 

He had so many things he wanted to say yet he couldn’t form any. He just felt so bad in the whole week Theo had been unconscious he thought he was going to lose his mind. He somehow felt happy the other pack members were also worried about him, and even though Dr. José – the pack Doctor – assured him he was going to be ok, he couldn’t rest until Theo was awake. He just couldn’t forget the way the chimera was on the verge of losing his life on Liam’s arms. And Liam had been so afraid on that very moment he just couldn’t relax. He was so afraid he thought he was going to die.

 

He knew he developed a special bond with Theo and his feelings towards the chimera had changed through the time. He wanted him to feel the same way, but that pain he felt when he thought he was going to lose Theo… he never wanted to have that again.

 

“You didn’t have to do that, Liam.” Theo said, quietly. “I don’t deserve it.”

 

Liam punched the mattress above them. “Why do you think so little of yourself?” He asked, tears on his eyes. “Why can’t you accept me in your life? Just… Forgive yourself and allow yourself to live the life everyone deserve!”

 

Theo was silent for a while.

 

“It’s just… I think I am afraid of losing you.” Theo confessed, also avoiding Liam’s eyes, looking at the bandages at his stomach.

 

“What do you mean, Theo?” Liam asked, leaving his previous spot on the chair and approaching the body lying on the bed.

 

The chimera shook his head. “It’s just strange to think I’m afraid of losing someone who’s not even mine. I don’t want to lose sight of what matters the most to me, Liam. Your happiness.” Theo’s voice was barely a whisper.

 

The older boy knew he shouldn’t be telling the werewolf those words he swore he would never say. Not because he didn’t trust Liam, but because it didn’t matter anyway. Things were fine that way. He already got more than he deserved, but he was being nothing but sincere. He was afraid of losing Liam, but he couldn’t take the risk of start having possessive behavior.

 

Deep down, he couldn’t imagine his life without the werewolf. That’s why every time Liam tried to get closer, Theo stepped away, even if he wanted so bad to be next to him more often. It felt nice to hang out with him those times he couldn’t resist at the beta’s offers, but he knew his heart begged for more. He _wanted_ to be close to Liam, he wanted to protect and be th _e reason_ of his smiles, but at the same time, it felt so wrong the thought of a horrible person like him next to him... It made him sick. He knew Scott and his pack counted on him now and he was ok with that, but even so, it didn’t feel right to live his life like nothing had happened when the monsters inside his head were still there to remind him otherwise.

 

When you can tell a story and it doesn’t bring up any pain, you know it is healed, but every time he closes his eyes, he still sees Tara. He still sees the faces of the people he had killed. He sees the Dread Doctors. It didn’t sound fair to be next a pure person like Liam just because of his own selfish wishes.

 

But…

 

At the same time, he had a stupid, annoying voice inside him telling him he wanted to be happy, he wanted to make the difference on someone’s life, to love and be loved, to create beautiful memories. Memorable to the point they would be able to soothe the painful ones inside his head. He knew he would never forget those, but at least he would think less about them. Those nightmares, those nights where he would wake up screaming would become less usual to the point they would be irrelevant. He wanted to surround himself with good people, laugh at everything and anything at all, stay fresh and have someone to hug.

 

Theo wanted to believe he had the right, too.

 

“Theo…” The beta brought him back from his thoughts, voice so full of emotions it caught Theo off guard. “You can’t ruin a good today thinking about a bad yesterday. Let go of yesterday, ok? Because… Well… Happiness also looks good on you, it suits you.” Liam said, his eyes still glowing with fresh tears.

 

Theo sighed. “And what makes you happy, Liam?”

 

“I… When I picture myself happy…” He paused for a moment, playing with his hands. “It’s with you.”

 

Theo felt like the air was taken from his lungs. “W-Why?”

 

Liam bit his lip.

 

“Because… No one understands my emotions better than you, so you became my anchor. You could leave if you wanted when I broke Kira’s sword, but you stayed. I know you will always be there when I need you to be. In this crazy world we’re in, there’s no one I would miss more than you.” Liam said, touching the chimera’s bruised cheek. “I would also die for you, just so you know.”

 

The statement caught Theo off-guard, his heartbeat racing inside his chest so much he thought his heart was coming out of his chest. He met the beta’s blue eyes, so sincere and full of sentiments he felt something warm invade him. His hands started trembling as he grabbed the sheets tightly to somehow give him some support. It didn’t help much though because soon Liam’s soft lips covered his, his fingers still caressing his cheeks softly. It was timid and it didn’t last longer than a few seconds, but it did some very strange things to Theo insides. His cheeks burned but he knew he didn’t have fever. His eyes were closed and his lips were still parted, as if still savoring the moment. He still couldn’t believe it. It took him a while to absorb what just happened.

 

Liam just _kissed_ him. It wasn’t a dream, it happened for real.

 

And as if wanting to prove him right, the beta joined their lips together again. This time he pressed their mouths a little bit more firmly, sliding his hands down Theo’s neck, caressing the warm skin, pushing the strands of the chimera’s hair softly, earning a small gasp that made him smile against the older teenager’s mouth. Theo’s arm wrapped around Liam’s shoulder, bringing the werewolf closer, who crawled over the bed, careful not to hurt the chimera, parting his lips and promptly caressing Theo’s tongue with his own pink muscle, hot and needy.

 

It felt like they’ve been waiting for that for a long time, both wolves humming contently at the contact, the dance between their mouths driving them into a frenzy of dizziness of warmth and coziness. Theo slid his hand down Liam’s back, stopping at his waist, squeezing the place under the fabric of his t-shirt, making the werewolf gasp over his mouth, breaking the kiss briefly. Theo promptly bit the beta’s lower lip and sucked the swollen flesh, smirking as Liam moaned and squirmed against him, sliding his hand down Theo’s neck to his chest, careful not to bump into his bandages, stopping at one pink nipple, squeezing and circling it, making Theo bite his lip a little bit more harshly.

 

“Shit.” Liam said, tasting his own blood, licking his lips and smiling.

 

“Sorry.” Theo said, not looking sorry at all. He leaned forward so he could kiss his again but winced in pain, ruining the mood.

 

“Well that was a bad idea anyway.” Liam said, rubbing the chimera’s arm affably, kissing his cheek. “Well, not really, but… You know what I meant. At least I was able to take a bit of your pain.”

 

Theo eyed him and rolled his eyes. “You shouldn’t have!”

 

Liam shrugged. “You shouldn’t have jumped in front of me and taken all those arrows and bullets either. Are we really having this conversation?”

 

Theo was silent at that, but it didn’t stop him from sulking.

 

“Don’t pout.” Liam asked.

 

“I’m not pouting!”

 

“Yes, you are!”

 

“I am not!”

 

“Yes, you are.”

 

“Really…?”

 

“Yes, really. I’m not giving up.”

 

“Neither am I.”

 

“So, can’t help it, then. I guess we are going to stay here forever. We don’t even need to go back to Beacon Hills.” Liam said rolling his eyes.

 

“Speaking of it, what about the packs?” Theo asked.

 

“They are fine. Most of them doesn’t speak our language, but they are pretty much healed by now. One of them was dead when Scott and Malia got there, there was nothing they could do.” Liam said mournfully. “The pack we had found of werejaguars are really strong. They’ve been trying to produce yellow wolfsbane, I guess that was one the reasons they attracted the hunters there.”

 

Theo nodded.

 

“They won’t stop talking about you, you know.” Liam said. “Rafael, his wife and her brother. Rafael is the pack’s alpha. Even Leonardo, the werejaguar knows you were the one who saved them back there.”

 

Theo shook his head and adverted his eye from Liam’s.

 

“I did what it had to be done, Liam. Also, I could do it because you were there. It wasn’t my glory.”

 

Liam looked at him for a moment, before kissing him one more time. “But you cared about their safety and you were selfless.”

 

“I… thought it was the right thing to do.”

 

Liam smiled, a warm, beautiful smile. “That’s because you’ve changed. Next time, I’ll be there to have your back.” He kissed the chimera again, on the lips and then on the forehead. “But I really hope there won’t be a next time. But I really want you to consider accepting my offer of coming living with me.”

 

Theo smiled at the werewolf, caressing his hair. “Does that mean that much to you?”

 

The werewolf nodded.

 

“So, I guess it can’t be helped.” He murmured, sighing contently as Liam laid next to him on the bed and wrapped his arm around him.

 

Theo knew it probably will be a next time, even if none of them wanted to. And he also knew the monsters inside his head would stick with him for a long time, and the feeling of guilt wouldn’t simply vanish all of sudden, but maybe, with Liam’s arms around him, Theo could hope for a brighter future. Maybe this fear of losing him was never going away, but it was harder to just give up when Theo realized it was everything he wanted.

 

The fear that always haunted him and made him push Liam away meant just one thing: he loved Liam. He knew that. As much as he didn’t want to think about it, it didn’t make less truth. But now, he knew Liam felt the same way. And Theo didn’t know if he wanted to cry or smile like an idiot about that.

 

But for the very first time on his life, he felt like he was important and he was loved. He wasn’t just an unnecessary existence in the world. Not a weapon, not an object, not a convenience.

 

 _Liam,_ he thought, watching the boy next to him.

 

Theo wondered if that was how love felt like, and if it was…. If that was a glimpse of what love was like, maybe it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot everyone for reading. REview and leave kudos if you like it!


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